My Vogon poem which was performed by Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz in the Hitchhiker Live Radio Show which toured the UK in 2012. It’s semi-autobiographical.
Oh Deliquescing Trousers
Pronkingly you melt away
And voodlesponk my hopes of future trousertides.
Did I not provide waterobes of globous hyphae?
Were not your plunthy beltloops sufficiently agitated?
You peel, and contract, and when your sticky blackness detaches,
A suppurating film remains: a gooey shadow of trouserness.
As you degrabe so do I.
Our scrolopping sites are no longer,
And it raises my antibile to hear thropping in the airlocks.
Your glabrous deliquescence is my own decrepitude.
You were my partners in lurgid crimes across the Vogsphere.
Trousers – thou hast forsaken me and I blame you for that job interview.
susieoftraken 